


Eyes of a woman in love

by Arrysa



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Bianchi's POV, M/M, Selfishness, Ten Years Later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 05:16:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9864554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arrysa/pseuds/Arrysa
Summary: Bianchi loves Reborn, there is no doubt to that but she is a selfish person.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for _**Imou**_ of FF.net

**Eyes of a woman in love**

"Do you love him?" Bianchi asked in a small voice, it was almost a whisper but in the cramped and dimmed room, it was like a shout on her ears.

That question… It took her ten years to ask that. It took her that long to have the courage to ask that question that would shatter her own fantasy, her dream, her love.

The cursed man in the form of an infant didn't reply. He looked up at her with a curious expression as he sat comfortable on the cushion atop the chair, as if asking her to elaborate. Reborn's expression made her fidget uncomfortable. Bianchi could notice it on the hitman's eyes that despite looking like that, Reborn was looking at her with dark eyes that bespoke of danger.

Despite feeling uncomfortable, nervous even, she still plunged ahead. Bianchi looked at the man she loved with all her being, at the man she would do anything, and willed her heart to be courageous.

" _Him_ … Tsuna."

In the end, she couldn't bring herself to say the words love and _his_ name. The power of denial runs through her in a tight hold that she became weak because of it.

Reborn remained silent. She should take it as a way that he didn't get what she meant but Reborn tipped his fedora downward with his small chubby hands. It was to hide his expression-filled eyes from view because no matter how well Reborn could mask his expression, Bianchi as a hitwoman would still notice the small slip on his mask. Bianchi noticed right away that small crack on the World Greatest Hitman's eyes before he could even hide his expression. And what she saw was her long-awaited painful answer.

Without even answering verbally, Reborn's eyes and action only spoke of one answer.

_Reborn loves him._

That confirmation made her close her eyes, stubbornly refusing to cry now. She bit her bottom lip in the process.

She already knew that. However, she lived in denial for almost ten years. Due to the fact, Reborn never confirmed nor admitted and she didn't dare to ask that question that would flush out all her denials.

Bianchi opened her eyes; she didn't notice she had closed it, determination set on it.

"I love you, Reborn."

She breathed out her own confession of love. No matter how many times she said these words, this time it sounded pleading, pleading for the man before her to love her back instead of _him_.

Reborn looked at her, his dark eyes reflecting her face and Reborn responded.

"I'm sorry I can't return your feelings. But I love… Tsuna." Reborn finally admitted and she didn't think her world could shatter even more but it did.

She _almost_ cried when that confession left passed his dear beloved's lips. But she was Bianchi, a known assassin and she refused, to show weakness in front of the sole person where her world started.

Instead she bowed her face down, unwilling to see anything, only the crisp brown color of the desk between them that seemed never ending in her eyes just the same as her own over flowing heart-breaking emotion constricting her chest.

The silence stretched between them.

She heard the soft rustle of fabric, and the soft pitter-patter of heels against the pristine floor. The sounds made Bianchi immediately thought that Reborn was being considerate by making his course of action known and it wasn't because of his bad health lately. Reborn could just leave her behind silently like he always did yet he had chosen not to.

Feeling of love burst onto her heart and all of the sudden, she wanted to ask if Reborn was going to…

Bianchi speaks her beloved's name; at the same time lifting her chin up to stare at the direction of the door where Reborn was heading.

"Reborn, are you going to confess to him?"

It took a lot of will power of her bleeding heart to ask that question. However, she wanted to know and her reasoning unknown to her.

The man in his cursed infant-body paused but didn't turn to her. Bianchi thought Reborn wouldn't deign to answer but when he did, it made her heart skip a bit, in an awful kind of joy.

"No."

She immediately noticed that there was a resigned quality on the hitman's voice.

"He's my student and he is going to ask Kyoko out."

Bianchi noticed the way of tone and could notice how Reborn's shoulder tensed. She immediately realized that Reborn must have known that his student would be confessing after ten years of pinning over the same woman. Most likely, Reborn had whipped his student to stop acting like a coward and to confess already. It must have been pai- She immediately stopped that train of thoughts.

She didn't want to understand what Reborn was feeling over that matter.

Silence descended upon both of them and when the pitter-patter of heels resumed; she let the hitman walked away.

The pink haired woman pressed both her palms on her face as she cried silently when Reborn had left. How could she feel happy at the fact Reborn wouldn't confess, that his feelings would be unheard? Yet Bianchi knew she wasn't a saint. She couldn't possibly feel happy that there could be a chance that Tsuna and Reborn be together while she'd be forced to watch it.

Bianchi noticed that even if Tsuna loves Kyoko that he was going to ask her out, courtesy of his tutor, Tsuna only agreed to it when Reborn had told him. She didn't want to know Tsuna's reasoning; why he looked… conflicted at that time. She wasn't interested and all she wanted was for him to confess already. Even if it meant that Reborn's feelings would be unrequited, that he'd be forced to watch it too.

_How very selfish of her._

* * *

"Reborn…" She whispered with wide unbelieving eyes.

Her shoulder sagged into itself and her knees felt like jelly. She wanted to crumble on the floor and never get up but she remained standing, rooted on her feet due to the denial coursing through her bones.

The Arcobalenos had died or been killed one by one.

And… Reborn was the last to go. He fought bravely despite his drastic health condition that it was only with Tsuna's pleading for him to hide on the Vongola Mansion before the hitman finally collapsed on his feet. They tried to save his life and maintain the status quo of his flames but Reborn couldn't make it.

One second, Reborn was breathing heavily, tiredly then next he had gone up into small bright yellow flames that slowly dispersed onto the air and all that remained was the yellow pacifier on the ground.

Tsunayoshi… he had his arm up in the air as if to reach up onto those bright yellow flames, only for that almost looking-weak limb to grasp nothing but air. His caramel-brown eyes seeing nothing but those sun flames.

_Could it be possible that Reborn remained longer for… Tsuna?_

Her tears started streaming onto her pale cheeks at the sudden thought. Bianchi's tears were silent and unrelenting to it's descend as she watched the scene before her eyes. Tsunayoshi still had his arm up in the air even when the flames had been long gone, his back forlorn and mourning for the lost love he couldn't grasp, no matter how much he reach for it.

The conversation with Reborn whirled on Bianchi's mind. She remembered the sudden joy she felt at knowing that Reborn wouldn't confess, that he would feel the same thing she did and that feeling slowly turned to guilt. She wondered if that conversation went another way, would Reborn still be alive?

* * *

"Are you still going to propose to Kyoko-chan?"

Bianchi asked when she caught sight of the Vongola Decimo sipping a coffee before she sat down on the other side of the table. She flicked her hair at the same time, untangling the messy edges of her hair in fluid motion.

Tsunayoshi looked at her in an almost absent-minded manner before sipping his coffee again. She noticed that his grip tightened.

The brunet placed down the steaming coffee on the table before mumbling a "No." He had a far-away look in his eyes before he seemingly blinked back sharply to get rid of his sudden stressful thoughts. Bianchi didn't voice out her concern but it was in the way she looked at the exhausted young Decimo.

"Is it because of the Millefiore?" Bianchi asked, in lieu of the answered she received from the brunet.

Tsunayoshi's lips quirked upward into a smile, tone bitter… and tired. "I wish."

Bianchi had an idea of what he actually meant but she didn't want to voice it out. She didn't want to think deeper of his reasoning, didn't want to know why he wouldn't confess to Kyoko. Didn't want to think of the possibility that it was because of Reborn but…

"Reborn would want you to get your act together and to confess already."

She said with an annoyed tone, obviously baiting the other. Inwardly, she cringed at the lie she said. However, Tsunayoshi didn't need to know that.

_Just confess already._

The brunet gazed downward; he remained silent and his figure sullen.

Bianchi didn't want to see anything anymore and she suddenly felt something constricted on her chest. She abruptly stood up and walked away but she wasn't fast enough that she heard him spoke of words - of confession - that made her halt on her steps.

"I didn't notice… But I…"

It was a whisper at first, the voice shaky, and hint of disbelief obvious on the tone. Bianchi felt that she shouldn't hear it but another part of her, wanted to know the truth, of the things she noticed but wouldn't think.

Her shoulder tensed as she waited for the verdict.

"I… love him more than Kyoko-chan."

She brought a hand to her mouth to cover the involuntary gasp that she let out, her other hand trembled and her heart had raced faster against her chest. Bianchi shook her head weakly, denial running through her veins whilst the silence of the room became ringing on her ears.

"I love… Reborn."

She abruptly turned on her feet, she wanted to slap him on the cheek and punch him but upon her sight landing on his figure, her anger dissipated and her stomach felt like it withered away.

Tsunayoshi was staring on his hands, seeing it with his unblinking gaze and eyes that won't shed a tear.

"And I only realized when he's… gone."

His lips slowly curved upward into a self-mocking smile that felt awful on his face.

"You're lucky that he loves you." His eyes clouded with regret and not with envy. There was a but on that statement that Bianchi didn't notice.

She didn't want to refute his last sentence and it was an act of selfishness because she knew with her breaking heart that Reborn didn't love her. However, there was an ugly happy feeling that persisted on her heart, still believing that Reborn loves her and that Tsuna _knew_ Reborn had chosen her not him. It filled her heart with ugly happiness and it made her tear up.

In the past, Bianchi thought she could ignore that Tsuna did have feelings even if she refused to see the signs. But now, she couldn't pretend that their feelings weren't mutual, anymore. Yet, it was too late for them. Reborn was dead and never coming back. Reborn's feelings wouldn't reach the brunet and Tsuna's late realization would remain unanswered. Still she wouldn't bring herself to correct the brunet before her.

It was a very selfish act, it was petty of her to act like this and she started to hate herself for being horrible, to hurt the people who treated her as family.

She saw Tsuna sighed in resignation before he mumbled silent words but it was fast for her to read, however she saw that there was an out of place expression on the Decimo's smile that she could identify as determination despite how awful everything were. She couldn't think of any reason for that expression. It left her wondering what that expression and those unheard, unreadable words meant.

It might have been a confession of love and even if she thinks that, she should tell the other of the truth. She was a selfish person at her very being. Even if her conscience had started to gnaw, she wouldn't tell. Tsuna would only get hurt if she did.

_Maybe someday..._

_Lies._

* * *

Bianchi stared at the Vongola Insignia and X engraved onto the wooden black casket. The smell of lilies permitted onto the air even with the closed lid of the coffin.

Tsuna died, alone and cold just like his feelings that wouldn't be returned, of the late realization he had and not knowing that Reborn harboured the same feelings of love.

Bianchi slowly realized that her selfishness had hurt two people because she refused to move on. Now her heart bleds as she realized that what she was feeling was what Reborn had been experiencing all along, of thinking that the person they cherished the most loved someone else, his feelings returned unrequited yet it was the same for the brunet.

She knelt on the grass-filled ground as if begging for forgiveness of the act she had done. She was bitter and when she got the confirmation that Reborn wouldn't confess to Tsuna because of Kyoko, Bianchi could have taken the time to tell Reborn that Tsuna didn't love Kyoko but at the same time she refused to see the truth behind Tsuna's hesitancy or his reasoning for agreeing in the first place. Because her feelings clouded her judgement, she didn't want Reborn to have his own happiness without her on it. It was… petty but she was selfish. And now… Reborn was dead, shortly followed by Tsuna after few days, and her heartaches with regret.

… _Why was she selfish?_

Bianchi felt horrible, due to the fact she hurt two people. How could she be so petty? If she accept that she couldn't be with Reborn, even if things came to be this way, she wouldn't feel this overwhelming regret.

Yet she knew that dead people couldn't possible hear her and Bianchi felt that her regret grew on each passing minute upon her realization of the horrible sin she had committed. She didn't think that her love could be this terrible and now she couldn't take back the actions she had taken. When did she became this petty, so overzealous? Now they were gone and never coming back. Hopefully, she wished that they could forgive her for withholding the truth.

However, it was a wishful thinking. She wanted Reborn back even if he wouldn't look at her like a lover. She wanted to ask for forgiveness to the boy and the man she shouldn't have hurt from the start. Her petty feelings of vindictiveness only resulted for a tragic ending that wouldn't be filled with unhappiness if she remained courageous to accept.

_"Forgive me, Reborn… Tsuna."_

* * *

"I'm hallucinating."

The pink-haired woman muttered under her breath, her eyes wide, and her jaws slack. She couldn't believe what she was seeing with her own eyes. She… couldn't believe that Reborn had suddenly appeared in a cloud of pink smoke.

Bianchi couldn't help but let out chuckles, tears gathering onto her eyes at the same time.

She couldn't hear the commotion around her, all she could hear was muted words and her own thoughts resounding inside her head, filling her up with regret and guilt.

"Bianchi?"

The familiar squeaky of the man she would always love rang near her and she jerked from her stupefied position, her resounding gasp loud onto her ears.

Her tears unconsciously fell and her chin tilted downward in a defeated motion, her strength leaving her behind along with her tears. But, Bianchi immediately swiped her tears away.

"I'm sorry… Reborn… Tsuna…."

She suddenly felt a stinging pain on her forehead and when she turned at the proprietor, Reborn was standing atop the table with Leon, his trusted chameleon partner, crawling on his arm back to his fedora.

Her breath hitched and sudden realization gripped her heart.

"You… you're real…" And Bianchi immediately pulled her beloved onto a suffocating hug, tears springing onto her eyes and relief filled her heart.

She didn't know how Reborn came back to life but this could be her chance to correct the mistake she had made even if it would hurt her.

Bianchi didn't want to resort to petty revenge anymore.

Reborn had chosen Tsunayoshi not her… the realization was painful and she still couldn't accept it. But, it didn't mean she would stop loving Reborn and let her ugly feeling pester on her heart. Reborn would still be her one and only beloved, and it hurt that Tsuna and Reborn could be together but her overwhelming feeling of regret was more painful and something she didn't want to live with anymore.

If… Tsuna was really dead and only Reborn had miraculously returned to the world of living, she would, no she must tell her beloved of the truth even if it hurt. After all, her selfishness cost them their happy ending, and she wanted to feel happy for them. She didn't want to be selfish anymore.

She let go of her beloved even if her body didn't want to let go of the warmth she wanted forever. Reborn didn't choose her. Reborn didn't love her.

"I'm sorry that…-"

Reborn interrupted.

"Bianchi, don't mistake me of the Reborn of your time."

Her eyes widened minutely and Fuuta immediately piped in. "Bianchi-nee, Reborn-san just explained that he came from 10 years ago because of Lambo's bazooka."

Bianchi looked at the tall young man and then to the hitman that had hopped on his shoulder. She didn't want to be selfish anymore yet… she felt hopeful. Maybe this Reborn still didn't like Tsunayoshi. Maybe she still had a chance. Hope bloomed onto her heart and at the same time her hope made her think that being selfish was all right.

And all of the sudden, her mind came back to the words Tsuna had mumbled on that fateful night.

" _But all I want is for him to be alive and happy."_

Her sudden feeling of hope turned into self-disgust and she felt cold all of the sudden.

"I see…" She slowly said, not to Fuuta's explanation but to the kind words, ringing on her ears with clarity. Truly, Tsunayoshi was kind-hearted and she felt lesser of a person paired up against the brunet. How Tsuna could still thought that way even when he thought that the person he loved had someone else?

_Tsuna was utterly and completely in love. That even if Reborn's happiness wasn't with him, he would still be happy._

"…Do you care about Tsuna?"

Bianchi finally asked. She felt like crying again because Tsunayoshi had been in the same situation as her and she was being selfish while he still wished for Reborn's happiness.

"Why are you asking that Bianchi?"

Reborn merely looked at her with curious eyes before he asked with a straight face, his black eyes peering at her soul.

"Reborn, just answer me." She asked stubbornly. It was out of character from her to be stubborn when talking to Reborn but she wanted to know.

The hitman tipped his fedora downward, before looking at her. "He is my student."

Bianchi immediately noticed the word usage of that harmful _my_ word and her heart leapt felt like it wanted to lurch back and forth with heartache. Reborn didn't answer yet she felt like he did, felt like Reborn had said _yes_.

_Even 10 years ago, Reborn had chosen Tsuna…_

Her throat felt parched all of the sudden and she wanted to hate Tsunayoshi, but she couldn't possible hate the brunet. She wanted to hate Reborn but she… couldn't. She still loves Reborn and Bianchi started to feel that the confession she heard were stabbing her heart with nails

_She didn't have a chance after all…_

… _Maybe it was time to-_

The pink-haired woman, opened her mouth, her eyes full of tears that she refused to shed and uttered weak words. "Tsuna…is dead."

At the suddenly closed expression on the hitman's eyes, her eyes brimming with tears fell silently. She cried.

_All this time, she had no chance._

She felt worse all over again. Their miseries didn't make her happy, it only made her guilty and regretful because all this time, she had been absorbed at the feeling of being rejected when she was supposed to move on.

Bianchi felt sad that and hated herself that all those times when Reborn and Tsuna were still alive, everything could have changed. Reborn wouldn't have died without confessing, Tsunayoshi could have realized his feelings for Reborn and even if she would feel hurt. That event was better than knowing that their love could have been more, they could have been something more, and she wouldn't feel so guilty.

_If only she wasn't so selfish…_

_Maybe with Reborn here, maybe she could fix her mistakes._

She took a deep breath before staring determinedly at the infant before her. What she would say would hurt her and the past her but even if it was too late for this world's Reborn and Tsuna, maybe in the past or even in another world they could be happy.

"Tsuna loves you until the end. So please… don't wait before everything is over."

She finally murmured and noticed that in any second now, Reborn's five minutes would be up and he would return on his world's Tsuna.

Oddly, when Reborn's time was up and no pink smoke engulfed him. Bianchi suddenly remembered Tsuna's words.

" _But all I want is for him to be alive and happy."_

… _Alive…_

Bianchi had a sudden epiphany and she hoped for the better.

_**fin** _


End file.
